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On the bright side, it's given me another reason to hit the drink!

Michael Hawthorne is a frequent patron at Tenpenny Tower's Federalist Lounge and is known to be the local drunk.

Background[]

Michael Hawthorne is one of Tenpenny Tower's residents and a primary visitor to its Federalist Lounge. His drinking habits have taken over his life and his life savings, to the point where he may as well have a reserved seat at the lounge due to how frequent his visits are.[Non-game 1] Although little is known about Michael's background, during his conversations with Herbert Dashwood he jokes that he has been drinking since he was a toddler.[1] When Dashwood warns him to be careful with his remaining brain cells, he replies "Nah, drown the buggers!" and shows little concern for his own wellbeing.[2]

Despite his constant drunken stupor, he has formed friendships with some of the other residents. He and Dashwood can be overheard poking fun at one another, the latter teasing him for being “pickled” to the point where Margaret Primrose's café may substitute him for a pickle in someone’s sandwich as supply runs low; the former then returns a jest of his own, musing that the café might also be running out of “dried up old raisins” like Dashwood.[3] After Lydia Montenegro closes up shop, she can be seen drinking with Michael and cheering to “being rich,” and jokes that Michael will drink to anything.[4] Tiffany Cheng, another frequent patron to the Federalist Lounge that Michael invites to drink,[5] proclaims how she thought her life was miserable until realizing Michael spends even more time in the bar than she does.[6] Michael's ability to get along with women like Lydia and Tiffany has led Irving Cheng to ask him what his secret is. In line with being the local drunk, he reveals that he first drinks to "loosen up" and then moves on to hard liquor to "get the party rolling."[7] Due to his constant and consistent drinking, he has difficulty even remembering the names of his friends, for if the Lone Wanderer asks him about the tunnels under the tower, he tells them to talk to “that old guy… the famous one with the radio show” before eventually recalling him as Dashwood.[8]

On the rare occasion that Michael is not found drinking, he can be located rendezvousing with the local courtesan, Susan Lancaster. In spite of saying he “does not give a damn about anything,”[9] he can be heard telling Susan how he thinks everyone is secretly laughing at him and that she is the only one who understands him.[10] However, she does not seem to reciprocate his sentiment and remarks that he pays her to be nice to him.[11]

Upon first encountering the Lone Wanderer, Michael may point out that ghouls are one of the reasons he drinks. He may then ask if one has experience “dealing with their kind,” and mentions that he has never actually met a ghoul despite being prejudiced towards them.[12] If inquired about the ghouls troubling the tower, he refers to them as a “pack of zombies”;[13] similarly, if he is asked about having them as neighbors, he may remark about the “mindless ones eating brains and the like.”[14]

Daily schedule[]

Michael Hawthorne wanders Tenpenny Tower but always returns to the Federalist Lounge for a drink. On Wednesday nights, he can be seen in bed with the local courtesan of the tower, Susan Lancaster.

Interactions with the player character[]

Interactions overview[]

Interactions
Icon severed ear color
This character drops an ear upon death (Contract Killer).

Effects of player's actions[]

Upon first meeting him, he will jovially ask the Lone Wanderer to share a drink with him, in which he will then begin discussing the ghoul business around the tower.

Inventory[]

Apparel Weapon Other items On death
Dirty pre-War casualwear Tenpenny resident's key

Appearances[]

Michael Hawthorne appears only in Fallout 3.

Gallery[]

References[]

  1. Michael Hawthorne: What? Oh right. Hah! That's a good one, Daring. I'm fine really. I've been drinking since I was a toddler. I can hold my liquor. What's new with you?
    (Michael Hawthorne's dialogue)
  2. Michael Hawthorne: "Daring... why do they call you that? Why not "Dash" or "Wood," or "Herb" for godsakes. I mean, that'd make more sense, wouldn't it?"
    Herbert Dashwood: "Hawthorne. Go easy on those remaining brain cells, alright?"
    Michael Hawthorne:"Nah! Drown the buggars!"
    (Michael Hawthorne and Herbert Dashwood's dialogue)
  3. Herbert Dashwood: "I've heard Margaret's cafe is running low on pickles. You better not let her catch you, Hawthorne. You might wind up in someone's sandwich!"
    Michael Hawthorne: "What? Very funny old man! Well, I hear she's also running low on dried up old raisins, you cheeky bastard! Leave a gent to his drink already!"
    (Michael Hawthorne and Herbert Dashwood's dialogue)
  4. Lydia Montenegro: "Here's to being rich, eh Michael?"
    Michael Hawthorne: "Amen. I'll drink to that sister. Cheers!"
    Lydia Montenegro: "Ha! You'll drink to ANYTHING! Cheers!"
    (Michael Hawthorne and Lydia Montenegro's dialogue)
  5. Michael Hawthorne: "Mrs. Cheng. Take a load off, enjoy a glass of wine. Relax. You're so high strung, woman! "
    Tiffany Cheng: "No amount of drink is going to make my husband less stupid. But, it'll certainly help me forget about him, won't it."
    Michael Hawthorne: "That's the spirit!"
    (Michael Hawthorne and Tiffany Cheng's dialogue)
  6. Tiffany Cheng: "You're in here even more than I am. And I thought my life sucked."
    Michael Hawthorne: "Just goes to show you: It's always darker on the other side of the fence."
    Tiffany Cheng: "I guess so."
    (Michael Hawthorne and Tiffany Cheng's dialogue)
  7. Irving Cheng: "Comrade Hawthorne. You seem to get along okay with the ladies. What's your secret?"
    Michael Hawthorne: "My secret to what? Oh right. The ladies. Always start off with a few drinks to loosen up, then move onto the hard liquor to get the party rolling!"
    Irving Cheng:"Oh, I see. Well, maybe you're right. Mrs. Cheng spends a lot of time drinking in the lounge, doesn't she."
    (Michael Hawthorne and Irving Cheng's dialogue)
  8. The Lone Wanderer: "I don't suppose you know anything about the basement? And some tunnels?"
    Michael Hawthorne: "Tunnels in the basement? No can't say that I do. Hold it! I do remember something about a bunch of escape tunnels in case of disaster or something. Or something about generators for power... You should talk to that old guy... you know, the famous one with the radio show about him... You know, What's-His-Name! Daring! Daring Dashwood! That's him. He's explored this whole place from top to bottom. Ask him about those tunnels. He'd know."
    (Michael Hawthorne’s dialogue)
  9. Michael Hawthorne: "Lydia! I've missed you! Come share a wee drinky with me. How was your day dear?"
    Lydia Montenegro: "Let's just say it's high time for a glass of wine. Putting on a happy face for all my customers all the time can be a bit tiresome."
    Michael Hawthorne: "I always have my happy face on! I mean, just look at it! Are you looking? See how happy it is! The key, you see, is not to give a damn about anything."
    (Michael Hawthorne and Lydia Montenegro's dialogue)
  10. Michael Hawthorne: "I'm glad you're here. You're the only one that understands me. The rest, I think they are secretly laughing at me all the time. But not you."
    (Michael Hawthorne’s dialogue)
  11. Susan Lancaster: "Don't be silly, Michael. It's because you pay me to be nice to you!"
    (Susan Lancaster’s dialogue)
  12. Michael Hawthorne: "I'm Michael Hawthorne. Who are you? And more importantly, should I care?"
    The Lone Wanderer: "I'm nobody in particular. But I'm sure you'll soon come to like me."
    Michael Hawthorne: "Oh, fine. We'll have to share a drink sometime. I'm always in the Federalist Lounge. There's certainly plenty to drink about. Take those Ghouls for example... Don't suppose you know anything about dealing with their kind, do you?"
    The Lone Wanderer: "Look, I know enough about Ghouls not to hate them."
    Michael Hawthorne: "Oh. I see. Well. I've never met one, so I wouldn't know. I just always thought... I guess I really don't know what I thought..."
    (Michael Hawthorne’s dialogue)
  13. The Lone Wanderer: "I don't suppose you know much about those Ghouls?"
    Michael Hawthorne: "We haven't discussed this already? Apparently there's a pack of zombies living in the tunnels. Gustavo says he has it under control. On the bright side, it's given me another reason to hit the drink!"
    The Lone Wanderer: "You ever wonder if maybe you drink too much?"
    Michael Hawthorne: "Look around... what else is there to do?"
    (Michael Hawthorne’s dialogue)
  14. The Lone Wanderer: "How would you feel about having a few Ghoul neighbors?"
    Michael Hawthorne: "You've heard the stories I'm sure. About the mindless ones eating brains and the like. Well, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with all that."
    (Michael Hawthorne’s dialogue)

Non-game

  1. Fallout 3 Official Game Guide Game of the Year Edition p.85:
    "Michael Hawthorne:
    Hawthorne has dedicated his life (and life savings) to the pursuit of giddy drunkenness, staggering drunkenness, and finally, paralytic stupor. He spends the majority of every day drinking in Tenpenny Tower's Federalist Lounge. He pretty much has a reserved seat that he always occupies."
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