Fallout 76 perk jokes

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Each perk package you receive in Fallout 76 contains a joke printed on the wrapper.

List[edit | edit source]

  • Joke #1: Cram walks into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve food!”
  • Joke #2: A Mister Handy walks into a bar. “Ouch!” he yells.
  • Joke #3: Best post-war pizza? Extra cheese, hold the mushroom cloud.
  • Joke #4: I have the world’s worst thesaurus. It’s terrible and terrible.
  • Joke #5: Cop asked for my license. Told him I wasn’t married.
  • Joke #6: Thay sey speling iz a losst ahrt.
  • Joke #7: Burrito finishes directing a movie. Says, “That’s a wrap!”
  • Joke #8: What’s a blind fashion designer’s favorite color? Corduroy.
  • Joke #9: Hear about the lost pharaoh? He just wanted his mummy.
  • Joke #10: Hear about the drunk Mr. Handy? He can’t hold his whine.
  • Joke #11: Kid is in the backseat of a time machine: “Are we then yet?”
  • Joke #12: Why did Vault Boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
  • Joke #13: You hear about the unsharpened spear? It was pointless.
  • Joke #14: How do you call a shark to dinner? “Man overboard!”
  • Joke #15: Can’t get through to the funeral parlor? Maybe the line’s dead.
  • Joke #16: Tip: Never offer an Anchorage veteran a cold drink.
  • Joke #17: Marry a cardiologist. They’re all heart!
  • Joke #18: Yo momma’s so fat… she really should see a doctor. I’m concerned.
  • Joke #19: Hear about the eraser who turned gangster? He got rubbed out.
  • Joke #20: Peanut asks a grape out on a date. Grape says, “You’re nuts!”
  • Joke #21: The balloon postponed his wedding. Now it’s up in the air.
  • Joke #22: Hear about Santa’s stand-up comedy act? He sleighed.
  • Joke #23: Dracula caught a really bad cold. He just couldn’t stop coffin.
  • Joke #24: Roses are red, violets are blue, I didn’t water them, they died.
  • Joke #25: You know how to make fondue? That’s a crock.
  • Joke #26: Tree walks into a bar. “I’ll have a root beer.”
  • Joke #27: “Talk is cheap,” said no lawyer ever.
  • Joke #28: Hitman says to the calendar, “Your days are numbered.”
  • Joke #29: My wife loves a man in uniform. His name is Roger.
  • Joke #30: Best way to have a clean conscience? Never use it.
  • Joke #31: If I had a nickel for every failed math test, I’d have 97 cents.
  • Joke #32: A brave man robbed the zoo. He had the heart of a lion.
  • Joke #33: Olga’s just like a Russian doll. So full of herself.
  • Joke #34: Protectron says to an Army recruiter, “I’ve got the mettle!”
  • Joke #35: Hear about the man who asked out an Assaultron? You never will.
  • Joke #36: Proper use of a comma is very, important.
  • Joke #37: Popular ghost says to the unpopular ghost, “Get a life!”
  • Joke #38: How did Joan lose 240 pounds? She got a divorce.
  • Joke #39: If you love TV, get a remote control. It changes everything.
  • Joke #40: Rabbit says to the hedgehog, “Can’t you share?”
  • Joke #41: Christine broke her neck 6 years ago. She never looked back.
  • Joke #42: Hear about the poor Easter egg who fell off a counter? He dyed.
  • Joke #43: Dyslexia have might you think you do?
  • Joke #44: Worst helicopter pilot ever? Got cold so he turned off the fan.
  • Joke #45: An idiot poured minestrone over his car. He wanted to soup it up.
  • Joke #46: Is it annoying when someone answers their own questions? Sure is.
  • Joke #47: If photons aren’t religious, then why do they have mass?
  • Joke #48: What do you call the time you clean and do laundry? Your day off.
  • Joke #49: What does an educated person call an insurance policy? Vault-Tec.
  • Joke #50: 4 drinks in one hand plus 5 in the other equals? Alcoholism.
  • Joke #51: What do you call 16 men on a Dead Man’s chest? Pirate CPR.
  • Joke #52: What do you call a porcupine love affair? A murder suicide.
  • Joke #53: Bagel says to roll, "You’re the best thing since sliced bread.”
  • Joke #54: Rifle says to drunk revolver, “Don’t go off halfcocked.”
  • Joke #55: Never trust a bucket’s theories. They just don’t hold water.
  • Joke #56: “Knock knock!” “Go away. I hate knock knock jokes.”
  • Joke #57: I have short-term memory loss. I have short-term memory loss.
  • Joke #58: Susie turned vegetarian, but thought it was a missed steak.
  • Joke #59: What do you call a Vault overseer without a spouse? Irresistible.
  • Joke #60: What does dad hate about Father’s Day? Having to celebrate it.
  • Joke #61: Two antennae got married. The reception was amazing.
  • Joke #62: The Doberman forgot to do the dishes. Ended up in the dog house.
  • Joke #63: Love’s like a bullet – the exit is always the worst.
  • Joke #64: Hear about the ambitious executioner? Always trying to get ahead.
  • Joke #65: Your kid’s so ugly, the cat tries to cover him up in the sandbox.
  • Joke #66: An overachiever died at the blood clinic. She gave 100%.
  • Joke #67: Grandma went crazy on the porch. Totally off her rocker.
  • Joke #68: Hear about the soap addict? He’s clean now.
  • Joke #69: Why was Cinderella awful at bowling? She ran away from the ball.
  • Joke #70: 4 out of 5 men suffer from hemorrhoids. That last guy loves them.
  • Joke #71: I gave my seat on the bus to a blind man. They fired me as driver.
  • Joke #72: Duck doctor says to his patient, “Full disclosure. I’m a quack.”
  • Joke #73: Hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De brie everywhere.
  • Joke #74: What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
  • Joke #75: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
  • Joke #76: How do you get a one-armed moron out of a tree? Wave.
  • Joke #77: Want to keep a cat from drowning? Take the sack out of the river.
  • Joke #78: What do you call the best pig in acting class? A total ham.
  • Joke #79: Dad is washing the Corvega with his son. Son says, “Use a sponge!”
  • Joke #80: Democracy asked Communism out on a date. “Are you free?”
  • Joke #81: Why did the tennis player get divorced? He couldn’t accept love.
  • Joke #82: What’s a seahorse’s favorite sport? Water polo.
  • Joke #83: I’m suing the fire department. They ruined my surprise dinner.
  • Joke #84: Tip: Give your kids memories they don’t have to repress.
  • Joke #85: Kids can’t get into my house. I had it childproofed.
  • Joke #86: You hear about the man who sells dynamite? Business is booming.
  • Joke #87: Why did June become an architect? To remove the glass ceiling.
  • Joke #88: “Winning isn’t everything!” – Inscribed on every 2nd place trophy.
  • Joke #89: Hear about the werewolf prankster? He kept flashing a full moon.
  • Joke #90: Oscar burned 3000 calories. He accidentally left a cake in the oven.
  • Joke #91: You want some advice? I’m not using mine.
  • Joke #92: Guns don’t kill people. Technically, it’s the bullets.
  • Joke #93: Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a Chryslus Rocket 69…
  • Joke #94: Once is a mistake. Twice is problem. Seven times is a party.
  • Joke #95: What do you call a family of geese crossing the road? Speed bumps.
  • Joke #96: Trout detective walks onto a crime scene. “Something’s fishy.”
  • Joke #97: I woke up this morning. It was an eye-opening experience.
  • Joke #98: There was a mime with a price on his head. He had to be silenced.
  • Joke #99: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  • Joke #100: Hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.