Swear to God, if I lose one more night of sleep over these noises I am going to strangle somebody. "Knocking pipes" my ass - do these slumlords think it's easy running the safety protocols for an entire ICBM launch complex on two hours sleep? It's a goddamn miracle nobody's started World War III over a low-flying titmouse.
Fantastic. Now there's earthquakes. Earthquakes! Sure, Commander Devlin says they're minor ones and nothing to worry about, but come on. EARTHQUAKES. Did no one think to check fault lines before they built a massive UNDERGROUND MISSILE COMPLEX?
Your tax dollars at work, folks. Swear to God, when my term's up I'm moving to Canada.
"Minor and nothing to worry about." If that last quake wasn't a 5.0 at least, I'm Dean Domino. That's it, I'm requesting a transfer before the whole plaudsfg099io8u8ioi yti xciokghpt8i9io