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The following article contains the transcript of a text file containing localized strings used by the game's characters, items, scripts, or interface.

{100}{}{You see a comedian.}
{150}{}{You see a crappy stand-up comic. He's nervous, and it shows.}

{200}{}{He's too busy in his routine to talk right now.}

{1000}{}{So…uh…why did the radscorpion cross the road?}
{1001}{}{To get away from your boring ASS!}
{1002}{}{I say we kill this guy!}
{1003}{}{Cause the radscorpion…uh, it wanted to get away from the radioactive fallout particles…}
{1004}{}{You suck!}
{1005}{}{FUCK YOU!}
{1006}{}{Uh, the joke, see, since it was already a mutant, it didn't need to cross the road, so…uh…}

{2000}{}{Heh-heh. Geckoghouls, right? Ghouls…man, do they STINK.}
{2001}{}{You stink!}
{2002}{}{This guy should only be on Saturday nights!}
{2003}{}{Uh… heh-heh… so, uh, ghouls right, they smell bad. So, like, uh…}
{2004}{}{Did I mention ghouls stink?}
{2005}{}{Um, so I find this ghoul, right, I ask, 'Are you guys envious that I don't stink?'}
{2006}{}{He goes, "No. Uh, why do you ask?"}
{2007}{}{I said, because you're GREEN.}
{2008}{}{Uh…green with envy. Get it?}

{3000}{}{So…there was this prostitute, right, this stupid slut…}
{3001}{}{Your Mom's a slut!}
{3002}{}{"Slut?" I'm going to stab you to death after the show!}
{3003}{}{And…uh…she goes, right, she goes, 'is that a Gecko in your pocket or are you just…uh, horny?'}
{3006}{}{Uh…did I mention it was a fire-breathing Gecko…? Heh-heh.}

{4001}{}{Verti what?}
{4002}{}{What the hell is this guy talking about?}
{4003}{}{How about those little bags of peanuts they serve on flights?}
{4004}{}{How about the salami you get served?}
{4005}{}{What's... up with that?}

{5000}{}{Optional traits?}
{5002}{}{You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?}
{5003}{}{Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?}
{5004}{}{Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"}
{5005}{}{Who... are these people?}
{5006}{}{Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.}

{6001}{}{What's so rad about them?}
{6002}{}{It's short for RADIATION, asshole.}
{6003}{}{Who are these people that think mutated scorpions...}
{6004}{}{Are so rad?}
{6005}{}{You suck!}

{7001}{}{Oh boy...}
{7002}{}{What's up with these things?}
{7003}{}{Are they moles...}
{7005}{}{Are they RATS?}
{7006}{}{And what about pigrats?}
{7007}{}{What is up with that?}
{7008}{}{Uhhh... yeah, what is up with that?}

{8000}{}{Super mutants?}
{8001}{}{Does this asshole ever stop telling these stupid jokes?}
{8002}{}{What's so SUPER about them?}
{8003}{}{When was the last time you saw a super mutant...}
{8004}{}{Get a cat out of a tree?}
{8005}{}{Never! Know why?}
{8007}{}{Uhhh... because super mutants don't rescue cats...}
{8008}{}{They kill mercilessly!}
{8009}{}{Wish someone would kill you mershssmbl...}
{8010}{}{So who calls them SUPER mutants?}
{8011}{}{Who are these people?}
{8012}{}{Probably the same idiots who hired you!}

{9000}{}{And what about that dork, Myron?}
{9001}{}{Is he talking about me?}
{9002}{}{I mean, what a geek! It's like he's lived in his parents' basement ALL his life.}
{9003}{}{*Ha* *Ha* *Ha*}
{9005}{}{Well, Myron, you ARE a dork.}
{9006}{}{Don't worry about it, Myron. He's just trying to be funny.}
{9007}{}{Yeah, you're just lucky I don't kick your ass, pal!}

{10000}{}{So did you hear about the stupid Bishop daughter that got knocked up?}
{10001}{}{*Clap* *Clap* *Clap*}

{11000}{}{Heh-heh. Did you hear the one about the tribal who wiped out the Enclave?}
{11001}{}{The tribal was sooo stupid that, uh, the tribal, right…uh, blew up their rig.}
{11003}{}{Did I mention the tribal was stupid?}
{11004}{}{You're the one who's stupid!}