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How do I put it? I'd love to do the horizontal bop with her... you know, plow her bean field. Come on, kid.”— Ronald Laren
Ronald Laren is one of Girdershade's two inhabitants in Fallout 3.
After his wife died, 33-year-old Ronald wandered the Wasteland until settling in Girdershade. Living in close proximity to Sierra Petrovita has made him feel even worse about being alone. His thoughts of loneliness are not as wholesome as most would think. Basically he misses the physical side of relationships. Feeling these urges, he’s made several advances upon Sierra, who is completely oblivious to his motivations, because she is absorbed in her pursuit of Nuka-Cola. Ronald mistakes Sierra’s rejection as being spurned, and this has angered him a great deal. Fortunately, he doesn't want to physically force himself on her but wishes to “get even” with her in other ways.
Interactions with the player character
|This character drops an ear when killed (Contract Killer).|
|This character is involved in quests.|
He is obsessed with Sierra Petrovita and would love nothing more than to have sex with her (although he proclaims to the Lone Wanderer that she is "nutty as a fruitcake"), and states that the only reason he stays in the obscure little settlement is for her.
- The Nuka-Cola Challenge: Should you accept Sierra's mission to obtain Nuka-Cola Quantum for her, Ronald will attempt to convince the Lone Wanderer to give all the Quantums to him.
- Grady's Package: Ronald is the recipient of Grady's package, the naughty nightwear found in Marigold Station. Depending on the Lone Wanderer's Speech/Barter skills, the Lone Wanderer can get him to pay up to 300 caps for it.
Effects of player actions
- Should your (female) character have the Black Widow perk, you can convince him to fetch the Nuka-Cola Quantums for you with the promise of a threesome with yourself and Sierra. Excited, Ronald will run off to the distant Nuka-Cola plant and die. If you then ask Sierra if he's been bothering her, she'll say she hasn't seen him in a while, but she's sure he'll come back. If you are able to escort Ronald safely to the Nuka-Cola plant, then he will enter it, but remain standing just inside of the entrance.
- If you simply kill Ronald yourself, the previous speech option will still come up in conversation with Sierra.
- If you give the Nuka-Cola Quantums to Ronald for the Nuka-Cola challenge, he will attempt to woo Sierra with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but she fails to notice his obvious innuendo-laced words and instead interprets his behavior as an imminent marriage proposal.
- If you kill Sierra and talk to Ronald, and tell him she's dead, a variety of options will open up. Among these are admitting to killing her and lying that the Nuka-Cola Corporation had her assassinated.
- If the Lone Wanderer is male, he will act dismissive towards the Lone Wanderer. When the Lone Wanderer is female though, he will be flirtatious and compliment the Lone Wanderer.
- When asked about the surrounding area, he tells the Lone Wanderer to stay away from the nearby Dunwich Building to the south of Girdershade, claiming the place is "bad mojo".
Drops on death
- Ronald owns a unique sawed-off shotgun called "The Kneecapper".
- "Sorry, darling. I'm on a mission of mercy... for me!"
Behind the scenes
- If you kill Sierra and then speak with Ronald, you have the option of convincing him (with a speech check) that it was at the hands of the Nuka-Cola Corporation. On success, he attributes this to the Nuka-Cola machine he got her, which possessed a warning label declaring that anyone caught tampering with the unit would answer to the Nuka-Cola Corporation. This is a nod to the movie Dr. Strangelove.
- Sometimes when you tell Ronald that you killed Sierra, he will threaten the Lone Wanderer, but not actually turn hostile.
- Ronald does not recognize that he lost his Kneecapper if the player kills him.
- After completing "Grady's Package" it may be impossible to recover the naughty nightwear by any means other than the console; this includes killing him.
Ronald Laren appears only in Fallout 3.
- Fallout 3 Official Game Guide Game of the Year Edition p.93: "Ronald Laren
After his wife died, 33-year-old Ronald wandered the Wasteland until settling in Girdershade. Living in close proximity to Sierra Petrovita has made him feel even worse about being alone. His thoughts of loneliness are not as wholesome as most would think. Basically he misses the physical side of relationships. Feeling these urges, he's made several advances upon Sierra, who is completely oblivious to his motivations, because she is absorbed in her pursuit of Nuka-Cola. Ronald mistakes Sierra's rejection as being spurned, and this has angered him a great deal. Fortunately, he doesn't want to physically force himself on her but wishes to "get even" with her in other ways."
(Fallout 3 Official Game Guide Game of the Year Edition Wasteland Census)