Shark Club comedian

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Shark Club comedian
Fo2 Shark Club Comedian.png
Biography and appearance
RoleComedian... unfortunately
LocationShark Club, New Reno
Dialogue FileNcComedi.msg
SPECIALStrength: 5
Perception: 4
Endurance: 6
Charisma: 4
Intelligence: 4
Agility: 5
Luck: 4
Derived StatsHit points: 33
Armor class: 5
Action points: 7
Carry weight: 150
Unarmed damage: 0
Melee damage: 1
Sequence: 8
Healing rate: 2
Experience points: 40
Normal DT/DR: 0/0%
Laser DT/DR: 0/0%
Fire DT/DR: 0/0%
Plasma DT/DR: 0/0%
Electrical DT/DR: 0/0%
EMP DT/DR: 0/500%
Explode DT/DR: 0/0%
Tag SkillsNone
Proto id00000065 (Average Peasant)

The Shark Club commedian is the poorly chosen entertainer of Shark Club in Fallout 2.

Background[edit | edit source]

A crappy stand-up comic, with a very nervous demeanor. He tries to impress the audience with his wit, but is usually achieving the exact opposite.

Interactions with the player character[edit | edit source]

Interactions overview[edit | edit source]

This character has no special interactions.

Other interactions[edit | edit source]

  • The comedian cannot be interacted with, but can be witnessed plying his trade in front of the audience.
  • Comic routine

Note: All routines are read top to bottom, point by point. Indented points are audience reactions.

Radscorpions[edit | edit source]

  • So... uh... why did the radscorpion cross the road?
    • To get away from your boring ASS!
    • I say we kill this guy!
  • Cause the radscorpion... uh, it wanted to get away from the radioactive fallout particles...
    • You suck!
    • FUCK YOU!
  • Uh, the joke, see, since it was already a mutant, it didn't need to cross the road, so... uh...

Ghouls[edit | edit source]

  • Heh-heh. Gecko... ghouls, right?, do they STINK.
    • You stink!
    • This guy should only be on Saturday nights!
  • Uh... heh-heh... so, uh, ghouls right, they smell bad. So, like, uh...
  • Did I mention ghouls stink?
  • Um, so I find this ghoul, right, I ask, 'Are you guys envious that I don't stink?'
  • He goes, "No. Uh, why do you ask?"
  • I said, because you're GREEN.
  • Uh... green with envy. Get it?
    • Booo!

Prostitutes[edit | edit source]

  • So... there was this prostitute, right, this stupid slut...
    • Your Mom's a slut!
  • "Slut?" I'm going to stab you to death after the show!
  • And... uh... she goes, right, she goes, 'is that a Gecko in your pocket or are you just... uh, horny?'
  • Uh... did I mention it was a fire-breathing Gecko...? Heh-heh.

Vertibirds[edit | edit source]

  • Vertibirds?
    • Verti what?
    • What the hell is this guy talking about?
  • How about those little bags of peanuts they serve on flights?
  • How about the salami you get served?
  • What's... up with that?

Optional traits[edit | edit source]

  • Optional traits?
    • *Yawn*
  • You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?
    • Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?
  • Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"
  • Who... are these people?
    • Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.

Rad-scorpions again[edit | edit source]

  • Radscorpions?
  • What's so rad about them?
    • It's short for RADIATION, asshole.
  • Who are these people that think mutated scorpions...
  • Are so rad?
    • You suck!

Mole rats[edit | edit source]

  • Molerats?
  • Oh boy...
  • What's up with these things?
  • Are they moles...
  • Or...
  • Are they RATS?
  • And what about pigrats?
  • What is up with that?
  • Uhhh... yeah, what is up with that?

Super mutants[edit | edit source]

  • Super mutants?
    • Does this asshole ever stop telling these stupid jokes?
  • What's so SUPER about them?
  • When was the last time you saw a super mutant...
  • Get a cat out of a tree?
  • Never! Know why?
    • *Yawn*
  • Uhhh... because super mutants don't rescue cats...
  • They kill mercilessly!
    • Wish someone would kill you mershssmbl...
  • So who calls them SUPER mutants?
  • Who are these people?
    • Probably the same idiots who hired you!

Myron[edit | edit source]

This routine is only played if Myron is present in the player's party.

  • And what about that dork, Myron?
    • Myron: Is he talking about me?
  • I mean, what a geek! It's like he's lived in his parents' basement ALL his life.
    • *Ha* *Ha* *Ha*
    • Myron: Hey!
  • Well, Myron, you ARE a dork.
    • Chosen One: Don't worry about it, Myron. He's just trying to be funny.
    • Myron: Yeah, you're just lucky I don't kick your ass, pal!

Enclave[edit | edit source]

This routine only plays after the completion of the game.

  • Heh-heh. Did you hear the one about the tribal who wiped out the Enclave?
  • The tribal was sooo stupid that, uh, the tribal, right... uh, blew up their rig.
  • BOOM!
  • Did I mention the tribal was stupid?
    • You're the one who's stupid!

Bishop daughter[edit | edit source]

This routine plays, but due to a bug, the player never sees the line. The comedian explodes on stage once the script triggers, though.

  • So did you hear about the stupid Bishop daughter that got knocked up?
    • *Clap* *Clap* *Clap*
    • ::Whistle::
    • Amazing!

Inventory[edit | edit source]

Icon armored vault suit.png
Assault carbine icon.png
Icon briefcase.png
Carried items
Icon male severed head.png
Drops on death

Behind the scenes[edit | edit source]

When listening to the Shark Club comedian's horrible act, he will break the fourth wall and mention optional traits, Jinxed, and critical failures.[1]

Bugs[edit | edit source]

Due to a bug, the text dictating the comedian's set about Angela Bishop become pregnant does not appear, but results in the comedian's death regardless.

Appearances[edit | edit source]

The Shark Club commedian appears only in Fallout 2.


  1. Shark Club comedian: "{5000}{}{Optional traits?}"
    "{5002}{}{You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?}"
    "{5003}{}{Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?}"
    "{5004}{}{Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"}"
    "{5005}{}{Who... are these people?}"
    "{5006}{}{Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.}"