V. 114 interviews
V. 114 interviews
- Found on the overseer's desk in Vault 114.
V. 114 Interview #03
Interviewer: This is Vault-Tech interview #03 for the position of Overseer for Vault 114, interview subject Benjamin Beasley Mr. Beasley, as Overseer of Vault 114, how would you settle a disagreement between two of your vault residents?
Benjamin: Well, I would obviously take it through the proper channels, assuming neither of their requests were against the law, of course. This is, of course, assuming that the conflict had already gone through all other members of the Vault Resident's Council that I plan on organizing.
Interviewer: Vault Resident's Council, you say?
Benjamin: Yes, of course! People need government, they yearn for it. I think it's the civic duty of every red blooded American patriot to serve...
Interviewer: Yes, I think we have everything we need here, thank you for your time
Benjamin: Oh, already? Well, I look forward to hearing from you soon!
Interviewer: Yes, I'm sure you will. Please make sure to fill out your nondisclosure agreement on your way out.
V. 114 Interview #21
Interviewer: This is Vault-Tech interview #21 for the position of Overseer for Vault 114, interview subject Kimberly Weese. Hello, Mrs. Weese
Kimberly: How do you do, and may I just say what an honor it is to be even considered for the position of Overseer. Ever since I was a little girl in Mock Government, I dreamed that one day I would have the opportunity to lead a community to greatness. My teachers all told me I had leadership potential, and without my guidance as Student Council Vice President, those bake sales surely would have failed. Just the thought of being able to organize and run this small group, to show them a better way, to lead them to a future so bright...
Interviewer: My goodness, looks like we're out of time!
Kimberly: What? We just started!
Interviewer: Yes, yes. Thank you, if you could just send the next candidate in as you leave.
Kimberly: Oh, of course. Did I mention I was head of my debate team?
Interviewer: I'm sure you did. Thank you. <sigh>
V. 114 Interview #87
Interviewer: This is Vault-Tech interview #87 for the position of Overseer for Vault 114. The candidate has refused to give his real name and has only provided the name "Soup Can Harry."
Soup Can Harry: That's right, I ain't telling you nothing. My name is the name I call myself not the rank and number the government brands on me, no sir.
Interviewer: Fascinating. Mister, um, Soupcan, would you mind telling me why you're distrustful of the government?
Soup Can Harry: I've seen what they do. Gum up the works with red tape and bureaucracy, take every hard earned cent and use it to fund their Illuminati free mason sex parties. I'm a free man! I should be able to live as I see fit! My taxes pay for them streets and alleys and dumpsters. I'll sleep where I want!
Interviewer: Sir, according to this you haven't paid taxes in many years...
Soup Can Harry: I seen the back of them Abraxo boxes! "Not for consumption?" Don't you tell me what to do, I'll eat what I want!
Interviewer: Sir, you may just be the perfect candidate. How would you like to be the new Overseer for Vault 114?
Soup Can Harry: I ain't wearing no goddamn tie. Or pants.