User:KiwiBird/Ask Marcus

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The answer to all your problems

“Ask Marcus”— Answer to all your problems

Ask Marcus constitutes a philosophical answer concerning all of life's unanswerable questions. Questions such as where do we come from? What are we? And where are we going? Questions without a proper answer can all be replied with two simple words - Ask Marcus.

Background

Marcus is the wise super mutant caretaker of a community known as Broken Hills. Although he was once an angry soul, his anger soon subsided to a mellow understanding of all things big and small. Whenever a super mutant needed a question to be answered, they would be met with the reply: Ask Marcus. The phrase soon became known throughout the wastes as something that could answer any question, no matter what the nature of it was. Who started the Great War? Ask Marcus. Is there civilisation outside the Wasteland? Ask Marcus. Why is that Courier hoarding coffee mugs? Ask Marcus. Soon, all would flock from as far as the DC Wasteland to see the great Marcus. Ghouls, humans and mutants all went to share in the glorious knowledge of Marcus.

But after a while, Marcus was sad to see how they fought over their questions and the true nature of Marcus' existentialism and philosophy. He headed off to Jacobstown in the Mojave Wasteland, never to be heard of again. Legends of Marcus still exist, but the answer still remains. Ask Marcus.

Philosophy

The father of Wasteland philosophy

The philosophy itself can be described as a way of answering a question which has no definite answer. Ask a question and you're sure to get an answer, no matter what the nature of it is. Although Ask Marcus may be cryptic and complex to some, it is a very simple philosophy which can be applied to any everyday situation. Examples for this are 'Will the Courier appear in another Fallout title?', which can be answered simply with those two magic words.

Do not hesitate to Ask Marcus anything. Feel free to leave a question below and he may get back to you.

Ask Marcus

Feel free to leave a question for Marcus, and he will try to get back to you.

• Q: What if Marcus encounters a question even he cannot answer?

A: Then you would know that you weren't really asking Marcus, wouldn't you?

• Q: If a vandal spams a page, and no one is around to report him, does he still spam?

A: The answer is in the question, my boy. If a vandal spams a page, he has spammed it nonetheless. However, the question is redundant seeing as there will always be someone there to report the vandal.

• Q: Why is marcus competely useless and not answering my question?

A: Patience is a perk. And you did not choose it.

• Q: Is anything strong enough to stop the Bronies Battle cattle?

A: Unfortunately, no. They are too large in numbers, and vicious in their beliefs. They would sooner nail a man to a cross than go against their values. I warn you, beware the Bronies Battle cattle!

• Q: What happens after Marcus dies? Super mutants live considerable longer than humans but they aren't immortal.

A: That is the beauty of the philosophy. Even after my death, the answer can still live on. If there are any questions which are left unanswered, then the reply will always be Ask Marcus.

• Q:Will Yes-Man ever become a real boy, or a girl if he has to get discount?

A: Who is this Yes-Man you speak of? I do not know of any Yes-Men. It's just me, Marcus.

• Q:I know your Marcus, I'm talking about Yes-Man, that weird robot that lives in my cupboard, surly you've heard of him?

A: Ah, yes. That wonderfully smart, handsome robot. He is the paragon of all robots. Anyway, enough facts. Yes, one day, he will become a real boy. Let's only hope he understands that he cannot jump from body to body when he dies.

• Q: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

A: The answer is three.

• Q: Why does the Courier almost die when he gets shot in the head, but when he got shot with a hunting shotgun in the head yesterday, at Zion he only gets a crippled head?

A: Because luckily, one well administered stimpack can miraculously heal debilitating injuries, even if you've just been hit with a miniature nuclear missile. Unfortunately for the Courier, he had no stimpacks available, so he had to wait until he reached a doctor.

• Q: If an Anon dies in the words and no-ones around to see it does an angel still get it's wings?

A: ... yes.

• Q: What do you suggest Marcus? A shiny Gatling Laser or a rusty CZ57 Avenger?

A: Marcus would suggest that violence is wrong. If that doesn't work, then take the Avenger.

• Q: Do you consider yourself more handsome than other super mutants?

A: You know what they say, beauty is merely skin deep. So yes, I'm a damn supermodel.

• Q: How does the Lone Wanderer kill a behemoth so easily when he just got out of the vault, but a paladin of the brotherhood can't kill a radscorpion, even with years of training?

A: Because the Paladin uses his head, not his heart. Also, because Bethesda uses the Gamebryo engine, not something that hasn't been around for the last 100 years.

• Q: How can a lowly package courier single handedly win a war that neither elite NCR snipers, robots, or the Legate himself couldn't?

A: Who said he was always a lowly package courier? His past is mysterious... who knows what kind of life he led before taking that fateful job?

• Q: Might you tell me anything about The Forecaster? Are his abilities in anyway related to yours?

A: That kid just makes shit up to scam caps off people. Don't go to him, come to me. Now, that will be 10 caps...

• Q: Can I marry Miss Fortune?

A: You can, but I doubt it would last seeing as she's never around.

• Q: Marcus how does the enclave lose to two people who don't have ANY training whatsoever, even though they train they're solders very well, and have advanced power armor and weapons?

A: You again? Haven't you already asked me this question!?

• Q: How can two sides of America, the East Coast and the West Coast, Make similar looking mutants? Such as the Super mutants and centaurs, how do they both turn out the same if one is made with FEV and the other with VATS?

A: I know, not all Super Mutants can be as handsome as me. However seeing as we are all made from humans, the evolution can really only go one way. Regardless of wether we were made by the Master or by each other, all Super Mutants are created in the same way. Therefore, it is natural that we come out looking similar.

• Q: how long can a super mutant or ghoul live?

A: Life in the wasteland is short. Most of the times, us mutants or our fellow ghouls are shot dead by couriers or people who wander alone.

• Q: Was the Courier Chuck Norris before the events of Fallout New Vegas?

A: Canonically, yes. Only Chuck Norris can survive two bullets to the face and still have the tenacity to destroy entire armies.

• Q: How come water, food and Nuka-Cola are irradiated but alchohol and chems have no rads?

A: Because you're too high to even notice the radiation poisoning.

• Q: If I was in the middle of nowhere, mortally wounded with no stimpaks, food or water, what should I do?

A: You should do the best you can.

• Q: Would people in the Capital Wasteland or Core Region accept Sunset Sarsaparilla caps as currency?

A: One would assume it would be like trying to use dollars in China. It's still money, just of a different value.

• Q: Oh Marcus, how are you so smart?

A: Intelligence is relative, dear child.

• Q: Can I find your answers to my questions on the internet?

A: Yes you can. Right here.

• Q: Which is the preferable search engine, Google or Ask Marcus?

A: Ask Marcus, definitely.

• Q:Does the set of all those sets that do not contain themselves contain itself?

A: They do not contain themselves. As you just said, they "do not contain themselves" so how could it contain itself? I rest my case

• Q:Can people find wisdom in your answers to their questions?

A: Only if they truly look hard enough.

• Is this philosophy helpful in all possible ways?

A: The value of an answer depends on the value of the question.

• Q:How is Dogmeat (Fallout) in Fallout 2 even though the Vault Dweller mentioned that he died in a force-field accident?

A: The animal never said it was Dogmeat, rather the human named it as such. Does this make it the same dog? I'll let you figure it out.

• Q:Have you ever slept with Tabitha? If you refuse to answer this question or don't answer it at all then that means yes you have slept with her.

A: I did indeed sleep with Tabitha, and it was great.

• Q:Are Super Mutants and Ghouls immortal?

A: As long as you don't fill them with lead, they do live for a very long time.

• Q: Is it true that Nuka-Cola Quantum tastes like watered down water?

A: I believe it tastes like getting punched in the head. Us Mutants don't partake in Nuka Cola drinking like you humans do, so I have no personal experience on this phenomena.

• Q: Do mutants really eat babies, or is it an urban legend? Babies don't taste very good to me.

A: Try sprinkling some oregano on top, they taste much better that way.

• Q: Do you know No-Bark Noonan, what's the deal with him anyway?

A: He asked too many questions. The facts of life turned his brain to mush.

• Q: So I shouldn't listen to anything he says?

A: You should only listen to what I say.

• Q: Do you know Rotface, if so what's his story?

A: With a handful of caps, he's able to somehow travel to DC in a few days, kill the leader of the Slavers and return with his hat. Don't mess with that dude.

• Q: What if some kind of lone wanderer took the hat first?

A: Then I suppose Rotface killed this Lone Wanderer and took the hat as his prize. That, or Rotface is the Lone Wanderer. I'll let you think about that one.

• Q: Is Calamity single?

A: Yes, but she's only into other Ghoulettes.

• Q: Are you sure?

A: You're asking Marcus. Of course I'm sure.

• Q: Did you read the questions I wedged in the answered-questions above?

A: Certainly. I see all and know all.

• Q: But then why didn't you answer them along with the second one above?

A: The universe works in mysterious ways. Ways in only which I could ever understand. I don't want you to end up the same as No-Bark if I answered that question.

• Q: Do you prefer plasma or laser weapons?

A: I prefer neither. Violence is the root of all evil. But if I had to choose, sledgehammer.

• Q: So what was the connection between Ulysses and Wolfhorn Ranch?

A: He lived in that crapshack before moving to the Divide.

• Q: Earlier you mentioned something called Gamebryo, what the hell is that?

A: It is the key to existence.

• Q: What are your tag skills?

A: Unarmed

• Q: What would happen if you took mentats?

A: I'd become more perceptive and a better talker. Some people say that it makes you smarter, but considering I know all, that is impossible for me.

• Q: Are you upset that you lost to a super mutant from the East coast in a vote to see who would most likely kill the other?

A: It was him or me. And I would never kill a fellow mutant.

• Q: What would you do with a GECK if you had one?

A: Destroy the world I have no need for such a thing.

• Q: Is it true the Legion has Super Mutant Legionaries?!

A: Not true. We don't fit in their uniforms.

• Q: Are you familiar with a Ghoul who calls himself, The Ever Ruler?

A: Yes, he tried to get a date with a lesbian ghoulette. Not sure what happened to him after that.

• Q: Isn't he drowning his rejection over at the Strategic Nuclear Moose?
• Q: I hear the Great Khans scout around Jacobstown, how many of them have you had to kill because of this?

A: None. We accept all at Jacbstown, and are a peaceful community.

• Q: Did you mind that The Ever Ruler answered for you in one of his little "stories"?

A: Only the word of Marcus is true. Everything else is false.

• Q: Who would you side with to take over Vegas?

A: Myself.

• Q: Why did the Brotherhood send a sizeable amount of its forces East?

A: Because I told them to. And last I heard, everything turned out like I expected.

• Q: Why would they send them East with a questionably rebellious leadership?

A: Ever seen that movie "Police Academy"? It was kind of like that.

• Q: Hey Marcus, I'm a member of the Brotherhood Outcasts, and I'm in a bit of a situation. A buddy of mine is having a relationship with this chick whos still apart of Elder Lyon's "Brotherhood". It's against the codex to have relations with unfriendlies, and its my duty to turn him over to our Elder. But... hes my best friend... yah know? So what should I do?

A: You must do your duty as a soldier.

• Q: Why is the automatic rifle so inaccurate when it has a longer barrel than a marksman carbine?

A: A weapon is only as inaccurate as the person using it.

• Q: Why are the weapon names non-specific in New Vegas? I know the 9mm pistol is a Browning High Power or p-35.

A: Same reason that there are giant killer robots and mutated animals. I didn't expect anyone to take notice of illogical gun names when you have flesh eating ghouls on the prowl.

• Q: True but wouldn't p-35 have been fewer keystrokes, and if you're putting out a product for the whole world to see, and scrutinize, why would you cut such a simple corner?

A: Again, talking about cutting corners despite the amount of other issues with the world such as constant freezing and whatnot.

• Q: How come Joshua Graham's armor is better than Powder Ganger Guard armor even though they're basically the same thing?

A: However, they are not the same thing. Therein lies the answer.

• Q: How come whenever I try to use V.A.T.S. after reloading a single-action weapon it almost always causes me to enter a state of paralysis even when I'm being attacked by a super mutant?

A: Frozen in fear by the super mutant, perhaps? Do not mess with my brethren.

• Q: Do you know a super mutant with the word Dog carved on his chest?

A: Yes. I know all.

• Q: Where'd the Enclave go, and what's your take on them?

A: The Enclave went six feet under. I do not fear them, for they are already dead.

• Q: Ever heard of the 'Abbey of the Road'?

A: Yes. It is a Christian monastery in the Commonwealth.

• Q: Holy crap! How'd you escape from the Pitt?! More importantly, how did you get captured?

A: I knew I would escape, so I didn't resist being caught. As for my escape, I think that's one secret I'd prefer to keep to myself.

• Q: Did Cuddles ever get his car fixed?

A: Cuddles was killed by Tabitha when he attempted to attack Raul for not fixing his toy car. So, no.

• Q: What's the aliens' fascination with Giddyup Buttercup?

A: Who wouldn't want every girl's fantasy, now a reality, for only $16,000? I know I'm certainly fascinated by it.

• Q: Whenever I use this 'Google' and type in Nukapedia, nothing comes up, but when I type in 'The Vault Wiki' this site comes up, how come?

A: Because the URL didn't change to Nukapedia. Only the site name did which has no bearing on search results.

• Q: Are we subject to a question cap?

A: Depends. I might have to archive this page soon.

• Q: Did you at least find The Ever Ruler's portrayal of you funny?

A: Mildly.

• Q: I went to Brewer's Beer Bootlegging the other day and no one was in there, what the hell?

A: They may not have been in there, but they are definitely out there.

• Q: When will the 'Age of the Toaster!' begin?

A: It already has. Who do you have to go for to make toast? The toaster. You are merely a slave to him.

• Q: What gun do you prefer M1 garand or K98 Mauser?

A: Neither. I prefer a sledgehammer.

• Q: Boxers or briefs?

A: Boxers. They don't make briefs that are big enough to fit a Mutant of my stature.

• Q: If you know everything, then why didn't you find the cure for the Nightkin's Schizophrenia yourself?

A: Because I knew the Courier would come and do it for me.

• Q: Are you friends with a Jason Bright?

A: It was through my guidance that he began his great journey.

• Q: What's going on over in the city of Detroit or Motown as it's now reffered to as?

A: The usual death and destruction found in the Wastes.

• Q: Did the Med-Tek Corporation create all the stimpaks?

A: No. Med-Ek created Mentats and Fixer, not Stimpaks.

• Q: Then who made all of the stimpaks?
• Q: When I was high the other day, I ended up stealing multiple hits of this weird crack from a cat-man who called it skooma, did that really happen or was I hallucinating?

A: Wrong video game.

• Q: How do people on the East coast know how to make Jet?

A: Same reason why everyone around the US decided to use bottle caps as currency simultaneously.

• Q: Were you this smart before you were a super mutant.

A: No. The FEV increases intelligence. In my case, it worked better than expected.

• Q: How would The Courier be able to trick you into giving him the town's money to pay off attacking mercenaries if you know everything?

A: I know the Courier was going to use the money for a much more meaningful reason than my own.

• Q: Do you own a Pip-Boy?

A: They don't fit on my arm.

• Q: I apologize in advance for this one but, you mad bro?

A: No. I am rather calm.

• Q: Will Michael Angelo ever get cured of Agoraphobia from years of psychoanalysis?

A: Only if he truly wills it.

• Q: Hey Marcus, Brotherhood Outcast here (again, contacting you via Pip-Boy). I did as you suggested and turned my friend into the Elder. He was given two choices, banishment from the Outcasts, or cut ties with the woman he was seeing and stay with the Outcasts. He chose to stay with us... at least thats what he said. The Elder ordered me and two other knights to follow him if he left during the night again, and we did. When we saw him meet with her we knew what to do. We had our orders. We killed them. As it would turn out he was defecting that night, and they weren't the only ones there. Hidden in the shadows were 5 brotherhood soldiers, and when we revealed our position they lit us up like a christmas tree (read about em' in a book once. Just reminds me that the old world had to much time on their hands). Outnumbered and outgunned (two of them had missile launchers) my comrades fell before my eyes. I was knocked unconcious by one of the explosions. They took me prisoner. Yesterday I overheard one of my guards talking about a public execution. I never wanted anyone to die. I was just following orders. I'll be blunt. How the hell do I make it out of here alive?

A: Sometimes you need to accept your fate. But you need to ask yourself; is it your fate to live, or to die? If you know your destiny, you know that there is only one way.

• Q: Mojave, Mo problems, am I right?

A: Indeed.

• Q: Is ambassador Crocker a Doctor?

A: He's an ambassador, not a doctor, dammit.

• Q: WAS Kilroy here?

A: Kilroy is neither here nor there. He is merely an etching on the wall, at the mercy of his creators.

• Q: Did the Doctor ever arrive to aid Bravo Bravo Charlie?

A: The doctor exists because of the illness. Once you've cured the illness you can forget the doctor.

• Q: What the hell did you mean when you said, "one fist, two fist, red fist, blue fist"?

A: I see you are not familiar with the works of the great Doctor Seuss.

• Q: What was Trash's problem anyway?

A: Don't seek the truth - just drop your opinions. It is because of misguided beliefs that she became the person she did.

• Q: Have you ever eaten raw salient green?

A: I've eaten raw human. Does that count?

• Q: How did Little Buster die in Freeside?

A: Carelessness.

• Q: Do you have a copy of 'U.S. Army: 30 Handy Flamethrower Recipes' and if so, can I borrow it?

A: I disdain violence, and therefore do not keep such abhorrent books.

• Q: How could motivational sayings etched on bobbleheads increase one's skill?

A: People believe what they want. If they believe that a plastic toy makes them a better human, then they will strive to match those beliefs and make them a reality.

• Q: How come Frank Weathers won't talk to me? I have to tell him about his familly!

A: You may talk, but only he can choose to listen.

• Q: Why do you only have one tag skill?

A: When an ordinary mutant attains knowledge, he is a genius; when a genius attains understanding, he is an ordinary mutant.

• Q: How the hell can you have 2281 Luck?!?!

A: The same way I know all.

• Q: What happened to your SPECIAL? It changed and your INT can't be correct... could it?

A: If you believed that it was only a 5 out of 10, you wouldn't come here to ask me, now would you?

• Q: Can you tell who's asking all these questions?

A: I believe it is that curious ghoul, the Ever Ruler.

• Q: Am I asking too many questions? And how did you know?

A: If you truly desire the answer, ask the question. And of course I knew. I'm Marcus.

• Q: Is the cloud basically like a semi-inert form of gaseous red tiberium? Because red tiberium used to be the most rare and the most effective.

A: It doesn't matter what the gas is when you get caught in it.

• Q: How the hell does FEV work anyway? Wouldn't you have to code for different enzymes in the quadruple helix DNA in order to transcribe quadruple helix DNA? Because a mutation that causes that sounds too unlikely to occur without any problems.

A: Every human is born with mutations. That is why we all look different. Some are faster, taller, better eyesight. All these things are minor mutations which make us who we are. FEV merely amplifies them.

• Q: Is there a copy of the entire Brotherhood Codex I can read? Or do the writers just refer to it whenever they want to explain the Brotherhood's stupid decisions?

A: There is no Codex. Only the words of the speaker.

• Q: If I have a harmless crow in my hand, will I crush it or will I set it free?

A: That is a lesson you must learn yourself.

• Q: Going deathclaw hunting, what should I bring?

A: Courage.

• Q: Are there orbital micro-nuke platforms geo-syncronously orbiting the entire continent of North America? How do I... um... gain access to them to... disable them?

A: Only if you want to die in the resulting explosion of the Nukes going off.

• Q: If Pip-Boys have GPS satellites updating their maps, then how come armies like the NCR's don't mass produce them for increased effectiveness? I mean they came out of a Vault after all.

A: Hard to find the materials and design documents required for them.

• Q: Are the factions of the Mojave considered those who do not know history, and are they condemned to repeat it?

A: They are condemned to create it. A far more horrible truth.

• Q: Are those who repeat history unaware of history or are they ignoring it?

A: History is in the past. Even if they listened to it, they can't change it. So why try?

• Q: How come Ulysses doesn't die sitting in the Divide? I mean, he has no food.

A: Once you attain enlightenment, you realise that possessions and indulgences don't mean a thing.

• Q: Is Rad-Away basically like a luria broth of an enzyme that reads and destorys mutagens that are missing all of the guardian genes so it kills them off and puts you in a state similar to chemotherapy?

A: To a lesser degree, yes.

• Q: See how I've amped up some of the questions?

A: I did see.

• Q: Is there a Vault based off of Fight Club?

A: I would tell you, but that breaks rule one of Fight Club.

• Q: Are you a citizen of the Republic of Dave?

A: It is hardly a republic, so it is hardy possible to have citizens.

• Q: Will Dusty McBride ever leave his wife for some pretty young thing with platinum hair and hoop earings?

A: No. The pretty young thing you speak of wants nothing to do with a middle aged Brahmin farmer.

• Q: You think someone will stumble upon the secret to making mole rat meat taste better and capitalize on it?

A: Merely add wonderglue and it will taste much better.

• Q: Notice I'm trying to ask you questions that Nukapedia really can't answer?

A: Nukapedia can answer them. Right here.

• Q: Will the Brotherhood of Steel get bogged down in the swampy south similar to the power-armored divisions in Yangtze got bogged down?

A: Quite possible.

• Q: How come almost all Chinese people before the war, turned into ghouls after it, considering not everyone else survived?

A: You do not know how many Chinese people survived.

• Q: Do Vaults and the NCR have some kind of immunization to death by mutation? I mean, there are instances where the majority of the afflicted population of both factions turn into ghouls instead of dying.

A: Would you want to get close enough to a feral ghoul to immunise it?

• Q: How come there are no R91s on the West coast? Is it because the gun manufacturers before the war there introduced newer composite weaponry over there?

A: The AK-112 was sold more commonly on the West Coast, so they are more abundant after the bombs fell.

• Q: Even in the presence of plasma weapons the Brotherhood of Steel still seems to prefer laser weapons, why is that?

A: They take what they can get. Plasma is not as common as Lasers.

• Q: Is it true that the early models of power armor burned through power and required the wearer to wear an undersuit? Is that suit the Recon Armor I see today?

A: Not true. The armour burned through energy contained in the Power Cells, not the armour itself. Recon Armour is merely a light suit used for Reconnaissance missions.

• Q: Did the Enclave take the innovations that the Brotherhood of Steel found about their numerous T-45d models, and apply them to the Advanced Power Armor Mark 1 design to make the Mark 2? Because the two models are quite similar.

A: Power Armor was a pre-War invention. It is just coincidental that the two groups who found them turned out to be rivals.

• Q: IS the cake a lie?

A: Impossible. It is either cake or nonexistent. It cannot be a lie.

• Q: So the USS Ebon Atoll was torpedoed by a friendly ship huh?

A: If an ally torpedoed another ship, I would not consider them to be friendly.

• Q: Have you ever taken a bullet to the knee and if so what were you before it?

A: I used to be a human like you once. Then I took FEV to the brain.

• Q: So did the Enclave use the rig as a mobile refuel station to traverse the country using vertibirds or did they use something else?

A: The Oil Rig was used as a base of operations first and foremost.

• Q: What was the 69th tribe absorbed by the legion?

A: Unlucky.

• Q: Were the ghosts at Baja the holograms of the Sierra Madre?!

A: No, the ghosts were metaphorical.

• Q: I lost my buddy near a mountain range that I later found out created a circle, the next day he came running out and attacked me like he was missing his common sense or something! What happened to him?!

A: He closed his eyes and ears to the world.

• Q: How the hell can something measure one's luck anyway?

A: Within a percentage of 100.

• Q: Is Uncle Leo one of your disciples?

A: There is no such thing as my disciple. Only some who listen and others who don't.

• Q: Am I asking too many questions now? Notice how I wrote over half of the questions?

A: If you have questions, I have answers.

• Q: Some guy drove into my garage with a scouter and wanted me to look at the batteries' power level that had no units... Hey Marcus! What does the scouter say about his batteries' power level?

A: It says nothing. The scouter does not speak.

• Q: Ah come on, how could you resist that DBZ reference?

A: I merely answer as I must.

• Q: I could've sworn I read somewhere that Recon Armor used to be worn underneath to protect the wearer from the excess heat given off of power armor that ran on energy cells and not a fusion/fission reactor, are you sure it wasn't used as such?

A: You're asking me. Of course I am sure.

• Q: Power armor does run off of a minitiaturized fusion/fission reactors right?

A: Yes, powered by energy cells.

• Q: If the world ran out of oil before the war, then why do so many plastic composite weapons exist?

A: How can you be sure they are plastic? In reality, most weapons in this Universe use metallic elements.

• Q: How did the East coast Brotherhood communicate with the West coast Brotherhood before they discommunicated?

A: Couriers.

• Q: How would FEV amplify beneficial mutations? I mean, it's a virus, it doesn't have consciousness and awareness to be able to assess what makes beneficial emergeant properties, only natural selection along with many generations of trial and error can do that with macro-organisms.

A: Speeds up production of cells, causing increase in muscle mass and more brain power.

• Q: Will the Brotherhood of Steel and the NCR ever end hostilites with each other?

A: Unlikely. At risk of sounding cliche, "War never changes".

• Q: What happened to Robert House's brother?

A: Went insane and was killed in the chaos that erupted when he activated the H&H defence system.

• Q: Why does the Legion refuse to use medicine?

A: They see it as a sign of weakness. Using drugs to be stronger doesn't exactly help.

• Q: Who invented the auto-docs and why? Wouldn't it put many doctors out of a job?

A: Med-Tek. And the point was exactly to remove the need for doctors. Same as how car manufacturing plants no longer need humans. Eventually, there will be no jobs, just robots doing everything for us.

• Q: Did the strain of FEV that affected you make you asexual?

A: Yes.

• Q: Why the hell are Private Kyle Edwards and Private Halford completely cool and collected about trekking the Mojave when the rest of the NCR soldiers keep complaining about just patrolling it?

A: They've seen enough to know when to count their blessings.

• Q: Should I go into medicine, or radiology? The unicorn wouldn't answer me...

A: That is up to you to decide.

• Q: Does anyone use Recompense of the Fallen?

A: It's really more of a trophy item.

• Q: What is Dog's real name?

A: His real name is what he chooses it to be. Therefore, Dog is his real name.

• Q: What is Three Dog's real name?

A: Same as above.

• Q: I heard there was a show featuring Dean Domino in New Vegas the other day. Is that for real?

A: No. It was a lie.

• Q: You ever participate on Jeopardy?

A: No, considering Art Fleming died in the nuclear apocalypse.

• Q: How come cancer is never mentioned in Fallout as highly as one would think people would in a radioactive world?

A: It's not one of those subjects that Wastelanders like to talk about.

• Q: How come pages lag the farther they go down? Seriously this is taking forever to type and revise.

A: That can be relieved by limiting questions to maybe one a day.

• Q: Did me and atheon just create an meme or a saying?

A: Confined within this Wikia, yes. A lot of people will recognise it when someone tells them to "Ask Marcus". The rest will just ask who Marcus is in general.

• Q: Being honest, have you ever laughed out loud after reading some of these questions?

A: Very few. Most of these bore me. A few, such as Billy's or EB's, are genuinely humorous.

• Q: Have I asked too many questions? No? How 'bout now? How 'bout now? Is this getting annoying yet? Will you start refusing to answer my questions? How 'bout NOW?

A: If you want me to refuse a question, all you have to do is ask.

• Q: What would happen if YOU used a "Vit-o-matic vigor tester"?

A: You can't measure my intelligence on a machine.

• Q: Was Price "schizo"?

A: He was merely paranoid.

• Q: What is the Roach King's decree?!

A: Nonsensical.

• Q: Are you going to delete the questions that can be answered elsewhere on Nukapedia?

A: I have half a mind to delete the page.

• Q: If your charisma was higher, would you take the animal friend perk?

A: I do not need it. Nature respects me and I respect it in turn.

• Q: Why did the Brotherhood stop treating super mutants as their #1 priority on the West coast?

A: Because the Enclave came along and ruined all the fun.

• Q: What would happen if I inuldged in an ant nectar and vodka, whiskey, beer, moonshine and scotch cocktail?

A: Instant death.

• Q: Was Robert House a participant in the "Great Game" as mentioned by Desmond Lockheart?

A: No. He was too busy taking care of Vegas.

• Q: Are YOU a participant in the "Great Game"?

A: Not at liberty to disclose that.

• Q: Is a wasteland omelet, sugar bombs, instamash, an apple and black coffee a complete breakfast?

A: Depends on your definition of complete.

• Q: Should I start myself on a Buffout regiment?

A: If you think you need to.

• Q: Being a pacifist, are you immune to the effects of Psycho and/or Slasher?

A: I do not partake in such things.

• Q: Limit my questions to one a day, who do you think I am?

A: I think you're going down the same path as No-Bark Noonan.

• Q: What should I ask you?

A: Something worth my time.

• Q: How was your trip with the Chosen One in the Enclave Oil Rig?

A: Full of needless death and violence. In other words, a typical day in the Wastes.

• Q Does Marcus play Skyrim in the wasteland?

A: I don't need to play Skyrim. I've already learnt the secrets of the Dragon Shout.

• Q: Are you interested in being friends with Fawkes?

A: I'd prefer a friend over an enemy.

• Q: Do you ever picture yourself getting in an argument with Fawkes after a long debate, resorting to your gatling lasers and having a huge gunfight, then laugh about it later and create a following of people and eventually another new settlement, then get Fawkes killed by either you or someone else, then name a town after him?

A: That was the old me. The new me would never partake in such violent pastimes.

• Q: Hmmm.... well, who would you point that giant gatling laser to?

A: Those who dare put the Wasteland philosophy in jeopardy.

• Q: Did you ever have children? If you didn't, would you have wanted children? Sure, they can be super-mutant children too.

A: I can hardly tolerate one of me.

• Q: Is Thomas Moore in any way related to Col. Moore?

Notes

• Marcus has the right to refuse an answer to anybody.
• Marcus would like to thank Grif and Atheon for their hilarious argument which led to the creation of his wondrous philosophy.

REMEMBER TO CHECK OUT SNM!